Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Falling off the bed

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When you bring your first baby home, you often have preconceived ideas about how you will care for him, where he will sleep, etc. Originally I envisioned that Adam would sleep in a bassinet in our room for a few weeks until we moved him into his crib in his own room. I also thought that I would try cloth diapers, now that was funny! The very first night, I just felt that he was too cold sleeping in the bassinet and after a few minutes of crying, I brought him into our bed to sleep. Needless to say, he ended up sleeping in the bed with us, or rather me, for three months. It was just easier all around, I didn't have to check on him every 5 minutes and breastfeeding at night was easy (after the month of intensely sore nipples wore off). Doug preferred to get actual sleep at night, so he ended up on the futon in the next room.

Now at the time, I didn't realize that newborn babies don't roll, so I was constantly afraid that he would roll off the bed. So this fear never wore off even years later, and I would sometimes have dreams that he was falling off the bed and wake up suddenly and try to "grab" him before he fell off. Even after 2 children transitioned safely into their cribs, I would still have these dreams. Most of the time, I would grab Doug instead, waking him out of a sound sleep, and immediately apologizing, "Sorry, sorry, I thought you were falling off the bed." So one night (probably in Feb 2005, Dova was 14 months old by then), I had another one of these dreams. I woke up and immediately lunged over my side of the bed. Doug apparently sensed that I was falling off the bed and then lunged over to save me, although I wasn't really going to fall off. I immediately came to my senses and reassured him, "It's OK, it's OK, I thought the baby was falling off the bed." He said to me, "But I saved you!" So that was a double save.

So I don't know whether I'm actually awake when I do the lunge, it could be "sleep lunging". Now I can add that to my sleep repertoire as well as sleep talking. Only once do I remember actually sleep walking when I was a teenager. I had wandered downstairs while my parents were still up and they asked me what I was doing downstairs. I was extremely confused and could only figure that I had been sleep walking. Thankfully, haven't done it since!

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Footnote on the bed picture: This is our actual bed and Adam had arranged these foam shapes when he was just 2 years and 2 months old. His obsessive organization disorder (OOD as I've been labeled by friends) showed up really early in his life and is quite amusing to us all. Hmm, I think the red kitty should be to the left of the green airplane myself. Here is another picture just before his 2nd birthday where he lined up his cars in his crib before falling asleep.

Dova, on the other hand has absolutely no sign of this organization gene as she is the biggest mess maker I've ever seen. She can trash a room in 5 seconds flat and loses stuff left and right. If you ask where something is, her favorite reply is, "I don't know, I lost it!" with the cutest smile. The only thing you can do is simply cherish their differences and these precious moments.

1 comment :

-Quentin said...

When I initially read this post, it started me thinking about "differences". Not just differences in siblings (as in the differences between our two daughters) but also differences in parents....and even differences in how the same parents deal with two different kids! (Where to start!)

Start with Cheryl and I...clearly the chicken in the chicken and egg cycle.

The differences I want to hilight here are the different ways the both of us dealt with Kimberly and Kristen.

Kim was our first, and looking back I remember we both treated her so carefully, patiently and with such attention to detail. We were learning about this parenting thing, and we wanted to do it right...so we read, watched and in every way tried to think about what we were doing. At first, Kim was like such delicate china....we were so careful.

When Kristen came along, we had been through it for two years by then...and it was obvious that kids were tougher than we thought. We were taking a little more laid back approach. By now, we recognized that kids were pretty sturdy....so we gave her a lot more mobility and freedom. We certainly cared for both of them, but were a lot less afraid that "she would break".

You can see the difference in our attention by the number of photos of each of them. We probably have 5000 photos of Kimberly's first three years...and maybe 200 of Kristen.

So I always wondered to what extent our different treatment of the girls resulted in their own differences.

Kimberly has always been a planner....she seems to have a plan, and direction, knowing where she wants to end up.

Kristen is much more laid back. She often floats where the tides will take her. She has a good idea as to what she wants to do, but she isn't as driven to "get there or bust".

Kim seems very creative. She likes to work with colors, shapes, patterns. She loves dance and music, having learned piano pretty well.

Kristen seems more practical. She isn't so much a perfectionist, but does pride herself in getting things done and doing well at them too.

But Kristen's schedule isn't quite so pressured. In fact, there are times when she is a bit of a procrastinator....she is just much mre laid back. (though it is not that she is without worry)

Kristen is practical in that she seems to "see" mechanical things a bit more naturally than Kim. I would say that if she were not a bit shy about it, she would enjoy working on her own car a lot more.

So I'm not trying to make them out to be polar opposites...not really. They are both smart...Kristen is more of a calculator, and Kim a searcher.

Both are very good workers and savers. I think that was at least in part to the "compound interest" situation we set-up with both of them and their allowance at a very young age. (maybe more on that later)

Both are frugal, loving to shop for bargains, for sales and going "thrifting" (as Kim describes it)

I can see a great deal of their personality in Cheryl...and in me too. I even see a great bit if my mom and dad's character there as well....which is really great. (IMHO)

I always tell them to always learn from people....both the good and bad...even from my good and bad. (I'm far from perfect....no kidding)

So...clearly the four of us exhibit very clear differences....but to me, none of them are too far out in left field.

As the saying goes....the acorn or apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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