Thursday, October 12, 2006

A cat goes to heaven (joke)...

This joke was in my local cat shelter (Pat Brody's) flyer:



A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cat says,"Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."God says,"Say no more." And instantly,a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven, God meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made to the cat. The mice said,"All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of rollerskates, we wouldn't have to run anymore." God says,"Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,"How are you doing? Are you happy here?" The cat yawns and stretches and says,"Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

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2 comments :

-Quentin said...

I like this....but being a dog person,it would seen the natural response would be a dog joke. (clipped from the net at: http://tinyurl.com/y9fhtp )

Title: Quick thinking dog
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, "Oh Damn, I'm in deep shit now." ( He was an Irish Setter)..... Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Jesus, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard, "That was close. That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.(Irish paranoia) The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks "What the hell am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that damn monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"

moonfever0 said...

Yes, that was a good one!

But we all know the real intelligence difference between dogs and leopards. Still I got a good laugh.

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