Be Happy Without Being Perfect

I was interviewed for the book, Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Break Free from the Perfection Deception. I'm not sure whether my interview actually made it into the book, but I will definitely be picking up a copy to check out. Pre-order yours today!

Unfortunately, Adam suffers from perfectionism as well. Part of his homework is to record the number of minutes that he reads every night. He likes to write down the exact number of minutes according to his digital clock, usually around 14-18 minutes (been whizzing through his books). One night, he failed to note the starting time, so he didn't know exactly how long he had been reading. He got all upset that he wouldn't be able to record the exact number of minutes and it was too late to start over. He was so besides himself that no amount of comforting or reasoning would help him. I told him it was OK to "estimate" the time, like when he estimated objects in kindergarten. Finally after about an hour, I came up with a mathematical solution that appeased him. I told him to look at the clock, read the same number of pages that he had previously read, and then double the minutes so that total time would be exact. It was already close to 10pm at this point, but he was finally happy that he had a perfect solution and did it. When do I break it to him that if he goes to MIT, he can't possibly do all the work perfectly and will have to learn to punt and do things half-assed when necessary? Shh, not that his mom ever did.

Inside the PTO Secret Society

Now that I officially have school age children, I finally got to attend a PTO meeting. Of course, this is no big deal to most parents, but ever since a faux pas I made in grade school, I've always wondered what it was all about. My mom is an accomplished professor and researcher and I had always assumed that her work was more important than anything else. So when my teacher in 1st or 2nd grade asked the students to let their parents know that there was a PTA (it was "association" as opposed to "organization" back then) meeting, I responded, "My mom is too busy for that" and never told her about it. Of course she was furious to hear what I had said and to this day I am reminded about the incident. So it was finally my turn to attend a PTO meeting. Luckily an information sheet went home with the kids as teachers have learned not to trust them to bring home information verbally (maybe I had a sheet which I threw out?). I was not very pleased with the meeting schedule as it alternated between evenings, mornings and afternoons, smack in the middle of work hours. I asked Doug if he wanted to join instead and he declined. Apparently he knows the unwritten rule that "parent" in PTO means mom and not dads. What's with that? It turns out that they have different times to accommodate different parent (mom) schedules and that you don't have to attend every meeting. During the meeting, I learned a lot about how to cut out BoxTops4Education labels and tape them to the sheets (no staples please!). I did learn that our school actually receives over a thousand dollars from these organizations, which is quite impressive. I also learned that 50% of the money raised from the "crappy knick-knacks" fund raiser goes to the school. I am one of those parents who simply buy a few items myself (mostly gifts for the holidays and some chocolates for the family) and send it along. My days as shameless promoter to my co-workers are done! So for me, the PTO meeting was a lesson in economics more than anything else. Adam also expressed interest in joining the Cub Scouts so I insisted that it should be a dad activity. But they have gender equality as many moms bring their sons to meetings. Of course he is completely oversubscribed in activities, soccer, hockey and now cub scouts, but he is loving it all. This post has been entered in the Super Fundraiser "Back to School" writing contest.

HTML Speak

Since when did HTML / XML syntax enter popular culture? Here are two pictures that I love being a geek and relatively proficient at writing such gibberish. 

From I Can Has Cheezburger and The Thinking Blog.

Thursday Thirteen #18 - Things they don't tell you about breastfeeding

I'm not about to give up my brand spanking new Facebook account, but they are a bunch of prudes about the breastfeeding pictures, so spread the word about the League of Maternal Justice. Here are some things that I experienced while breastfeeding that they don't necessarily talk about.

1. The first month is BRUTAL! My babies latched on just fine but my breasts did not agree at all. Cracked, bleeding nipples and extreme pain every time they latched on.
   
2. I would have to count to 10 so that I wouldn't scream during latch on for those first few weeks.
   
3. Forget the Lansinoh, go with the Soothies gel pads. I don't think they were around when I had Adam. Keep them clean and dry for maximum life!
   
4. Once the pain subsides, and you can latch your baby on without turning all the lights on, it is smooth sailing (3-4 weeks).
5. I was obsessed with using both breasts equally when Dova decided to prefer one over the other around 12 weeks. While I lied sideways in bed, I would prop her up on a pillow to get her to the higher one, or face her upside down.
   
6. I lost lots of weight breastfeeding. I didn't get below my pre-pregnancy weight until about six months, so you have to be in it for the long haul. It was great to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not worry about gaining weight! I called it the breastfeeding diet and sometimes "baby liposuction". Sucked the fat right off me.
7. My Medela Pump in Style was great. Gotta eBay it, anyone interested?
   
8. I actually got away with the Avent hand pump for a while when I had way too much supply.
   
9. I read tons of books while nursing. I've never read at that high a rate in my entire life. It was especially easy to do in bed so I had two hands to flip pages.
10. The easiest way to put a baby to sleep is to nurse them. Same goes for mom!
11. I couldn't drink coffee or even have coffee ice cream as this made Dova extremely cranky.
    
12. She didn't much like spicy food either.
13. I would not have traded the experience for anything. It is really true about the close bonding you get. I wouldn't say that you aren't complete as a woman if you don't breastfeed, but it is certainly a perk. Maybe a reward for enduring pregnancy.
    

Thursday Thirteen Participants

1. Yuriko 2. Wolfie 3. Sandier Pastures 4. jennifer

5. heather 6. ONwebCHECK 7. MamaLee 8. the world through the eyes of ME

9. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls 10. Krista 11. Nicholas

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Wordless Wednesday - Knitting and Cross Stitch at Soccer

 

Just when we thought we were good school parents

We are just into our third week of first grade and everything had been going smoothly. No missed school buses (well there was one missed pickup, where he was brought back to school), no missed lunches or lunch money, all homework done, and most importantly, no bad reports from his teacher. Then we got two notes today. One for a late library book which he insisted that he didn't needed to return yet and this one from his teacher.

Of course we went right into lecture mode about needing to do assignments whether he liked them or not. And to stop being so stubborn (nearly impossible with the parents he got). We tried to get him to complete the assignment at home, but he still hemmed and hawed about it. I told home to write exactly how he felt and he finally (after spending five minutes on each letter) wrote this.

I dont like farms. Becos it is smely.

And to show it was authentic, I left alone all his inventive spelling (which drives both Adam and us bonkers) and incorrect grammar. I hope his teacher has a sense of humor, although she didn't appear to during the open house.

Photo Hunters - Paper

These paper folded polyhedra are assembled using identical interlocking pieces of paper with no tape or glue. I created them in a Independent Activities Period (IAP) class at MIT 22 years ago. They've held up pretty well, although a bit faded and dusty, and are relegated to the top of a shelf 8 feet high away from the kids. The instructor was Jeannine Mosely, an electrical engineering graduate student who figured out ways to create the individual pieces from 8.5" x 11" sheets of paper without the use of rulers by approximating the angles needed (she made it sound easy but was way too humble). I recently googled her and found her latest project, the Menger Sponge. Here is the pattern for the Great and Small Stellated Dodecahedron (#1 and #3 shown here) and an example of how to make a Stellated Rhombic Dodecahedron. In this photo, from left to right, they are:

1. Great Dodecahedron
2. First Stellation of the Icosohedron
3. Small Stellated Dodecahedron
4. Great Stellated Dodecahedron
5. Dodecahedron (since this is open, it is technically not a true polyhedron in the sense of the others, but it is really easy to whip up)

As well as these modular polyhedra, we also learned to make simple shapes such as a cube, tetrahedron, octahedron, and stellated octahedron shown below. I make them out of post-it note paper when I'm bored at work! 

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt Participants

1. Lisa 2. Richard 3. tanabata 4. kissedalotatoads 5. Yen

6. Jhoaniquing 7. AniqueAnik 8. meeyauw 9. carver 10. pelf

11. Nita 12. Cindy 13. Paulie

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Wordless Wednesday - Log Flume!

In 2006, Doug declined the flume ride, so our family portrait was a incomplete. 

This year, I dragged Doug onto the ride first thing before he lost his nerve!

How many glasses do boys go through?

Here's Adam in his third pair of glasses. The first pair lasted a year until he required a new prescription. As a precaution, we had gotten the replacement warranty for them from Pearle Vision, but didn't have to use it of course. The warranty cost $25 and covered 70% of replacement costs. Our total cost with insurance was $55, where retail was $238. For the second pair, we didn't have vision insurance, so I purchased very similar pair of Spongebob glasses at 39DollarGlasses.com for $85 including shipping. It was a lot cheaper than buying from Pearle without insurance, even for lens only, but unfortunately, that pair lasted only 4 months. He lost a hinge screw early on which we replaced with safety wire and then busted the metal part of the rim. We tried supergluing the lens to the rim, but it didn't stay. This time, I purchased a super cheap pair from Zenni Optical for $29 including shipping. After a few days, they are a bit tweaked and crooked and we already had to replace the nosepieces. But at that price, glasses are now practically disposable. It doesn't even pay to have vision insurance any longer!

He is also sporting his Harry Potter scar tattoo in this picture and we are rapidly approaching the end of Book Two. Speaking of Harry Potter, this is our favorite of the Potter Puppet Pals videos on YouTube. Warning, it is very catchy!

Let the audience do your marketing

The latest trend in marketing is to let the audience do all your work. This gmail video has ingenious clips from people across the globe. Granted it is a bit of work to select and edit these videos together, but the creativity and resources of the masses far outweigh a group of marketing geeks in a room. Plus, who would want to miss out on three seconds of fame? It's a win-win situation. I especially like how they placed all the selected videos on a global map so you can see where the clips came from by clicking on its pin. I had a dream about a twittervision or flickrvision like application with three second video clips instead of text or pictures once, before this map and video came out.  

One of our favorite TV shows, Monk, on USA Network, is also getting in on audience marketing by promoting a Monk Across America campaign where people submit photos of the Monk bobblehead in all sorts of locations. I did get a bobblehead, but haven't brought him to any interesting places. Where should I take him? 

Photo Hunters - Plastic

Today I have two plastic stegasauruses, one made from one of those tiny models you punch out of a credit card, and the other that I knit from acrylic (it's plastic right?).

   Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt Participants

1. -tnchick- 2. Barbara 3. AlvinC

4. Dragonheart 5. Hootin\' Anni 6. Nita

7. carver 8. Chen

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Adam's First Day of First Grade

Adam is so proud to be going to first grade finally!! This shot next to our wedding tree is from the second set of pictures because Doug didn't like the typical shot at the door. I was sad at his Kindergarten graduation and even more so on this day as we sent him off on the bus to a new school. It was the first time he was going to a classroom which we have never seen, with a teacher we have never met, with totally new classmates. I know he is well prepared in his math, reading and social abilities, but I was still scared thinking of the unknowns, despite many phone calls with the school and bus company the week before. The day before school started (a week late due to budget issues and town votes) the class lists were finally posted and I biked over at lunch to find his teacher's name. I was happy to see that his class size was 21 kids, despite all the dire news of budget cuts. The morning of his first day was pretty hectic, making his lunch, taking pictures, quizzing him on his bus number and his teacher's name (which turns out I was pronouncing wrong), reminding him to go to the bathroom while he was there and getting him down to the bus stop at the end of the street with Dova in tow. I knew the bus would be really late the first day, so I drove off to work after many hugs and let Dad send him off. Apparently I was a total wreck as I arrived at work without my laptop, which was neatly packed inside our front door. He came home happy without much to report. I asked the name of some of his new friends. He couldn't remember (finally by the 3rd day, he came up with 2 names - typical male). I asked him what his favorite part of the day was. Recess of course. This is what he worked on his first day (teacher name removed):

He didn't complete the school bus drawing because of the incredible amount of detail he put into these drawings:

• His teachers eyes are mixed green and brown so he colored it that way
• The children have red tongues and mouths
• The children have white teeth as well as white in their eyes - no over-coloring
• The children all have different color hair
• The taillight on the school bus is red, whereas the mirror is blue
• Even the dogs have red tongues and a red nose
• The brown dog has a blue collar with a yellow tag

Attention to detail, that's my boy! After one week, we still are getting used to the new routine. He is usually raring to go and wants to walk down by himself (it is a 5 minute walk from our house) and Dova is trailing somewhere behind him (kids on the loose!). I drive down after them in my car, picking Dova up halfway down the street (thankfully a dead end), and then wait at the end of the street for Doug to drive down in his car. We'll have to improve our carbon footprint on that one! I have yet to stay late enough to see the bus although their schedule should be getting closer to normal without all those darn parents taking photos of their kids on the bus (I'll be doing that next week so I have extra time!). Doug is still getting used to the the pickup at the end of the day, where he sometimes needs to run or bike down to meet him as they won't allow the kids to walk home by themselves. I'm very thankful that Doug is there for the bus pickup and drop-off!! On less thing to worry about.

TT #17 - Cool gadgets that I will (probably) never buy

I'm totally hooked on the RSS feeds of Engadget and Popgadget among others, and often clip items or send them to my friends (kinda like clipping newspaper articles but without the scissors or newsprint). Here are some of the cool things that I've come across:

1. 
   Drivemocion signs - I love the idea of being able to flash these signs while you're driving. They could really use "Sorry" as well, although I doubt any male drivers would use that.


2. 
   Virtusphere - Boing Boing calls it a giant hamster ball for humans. I think it would be great to run around in at the gym or even do cartwheels in.


3. 
   Seitz 6x17 Digital camera - This camera is ridiculously large! Check out this photo taken at 160 MPX.


4. 
   Persian Puzzle Rug - Adam and I both love jigsaw puzzles, but I would be afraid these pieces would always be exploded everywhere, just like his Lego's.


5. 
   Virtual Piano - Even more portable than the roll-up kind. I just found this video of the virtual piano and the keys are way too small to actually play. This video of the roll-up piano by a kid named Adam is much cooler!
   


6. 
   Fiber Optic Tablecloth - Mesmerizing!! Helps if you have a dining room that looks like that too.


7. 
   Fish 'n Flush Toilet - I've already bought my fancy toilet, but this is completely impractical yet cool.


8. 
   Oral-B Triumph with SmartGuide - "This dental duo promises to be the iPhone of the toothbrush world" according to Popgadget. After my own toothbrush debacle, I'm not about to take that plunge.


9. 
   Brush and Rinse Toothbrush - Finally something in my price range that would be cool to use, but can you imagine the messes my kids would make if they got a hold of it?


10. 
    Color-altering heat-sensing faucets - I've always liked lighted faucets, but a heat-sensing one? Too cool.


11. 
    Cool bathrooms at NY's Bar 59 - Last bathroom item, I promise. These doors on these stalls go opaque when you need to use them.
    


12. 
    Transparent toaster - On to the kitchen. I love the idea of being able to see exactly how toasted your bread is! But then I got practical and came up with a boatload of questions like: Is the outside of that glass hot enough to burn yourself? How exactly do you fish your toast out? After your first toast, would you have to clean it all the time? And, um, I usually need two pieces please. This device is still in concept phase and really needs to address MY issues!


13. 
    One click butter cutter - A kitchen gadget that I can actually use! I may just buy one to reward myself for a Thursday Thirteen post well done.
    

Wordless Wednesday - Roosters

Hidden Farmer Bob's rooster.

The Rowdy Roosters ride at Canobie Lake Park in Salem, NH.

Do you have any duct tape?

Every parent knows that when your child says something inappropriate but funny, you gotta keep a straight face when you tell them not to say it or else they will think it is OK. Lately, I've been really bad about keeping the straight face for both kids.

• Adam - We were at grandma's new condo in a senior community and she likes to keep the noise down so that the neighbors aren't disturbed. Adam and I were playing a card game like egyptian rat screw, but we never learned the name correctly and call it russian rat trap. Anyway, every time he failed to slap the cards and I won them, he shrieked out and we would tell him to be quiet. He tried putting a pillow over his mouth, but he kept screaming each time he lost or even won, unable to control himself. Finally he said, "Do you have any duct tape?" I asked, "For what?" He said, "To tape my mouth shut." I burst out laughing, despite all the bad news about daycare and duct tape.
• Dova - The kids were fooling around and Doug was trying to get them to stop. He would ask them to stop [ insert bad behavior here - chasing, tickling, screaming, etc. ] over and over, but they wouldn't calm down. Finally, he said "If you guys don't cut it out, I'm going to..." And Dova interjected "Are you going to kick our butts?" This time, I immediately put my hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter. Doug was glaring at me with a carefully buttoned mouth, but it got so hard to stop laughing that I started crying.

Now the running joke is "Are you going to kick our butts with duct tape?" Oh man, it's so hard to be a serious adult sometimes.

Photo Hunters - Music

I've been starting to give the kids "micro" piano lessons. Adam gets frustrated when he doesn't master something in the first minute, so I give him tiny things to try. Look at those nice rounded fingers! Dova is dying to learn, but is just a bit young (we are NOT the 5 Browns). Relax those wrists! I'm already starting to sound like all my old piano teachers.

Intelligence quizzes

These have been going around the blog world:

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb? Woo hoo, I nailed all 25 questions.

Cool Nerd Queen and proud of it! My technology /computer percentile have trumped science and math, wow!

 

Interesting, I used to always be pegged as INTJ and somehow in my old age I've moved from intuitive to sensing. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm falling off the Introverted and Judging scales and need to center myself a bit more!

The iPod classic vs. iPod touch

When I first got the iPhone, I was afraid that it would quickly obsolete my truly classic iPod Photo 30G. But I found that I use my iPod just as much as I always had. Here are some areas where it truly shines over the iPhone:

1. 30G is enough to store my entire music library plus audio podcasts. Since my iPod does not have video capabilities, the 30G size is perfect for my entire audio collection (currently at 24GB). For the new audio and video iPod classics, 80GB and 160GB should be more than enough space. There's something to be said about having your entire music library at your fingertips, as opposed to selected playlists. The iPod touch at 8GB and 16GB will not be able to accomplish this.
2. Clickwheel - the clickwheel may seem outdated compared to the smooth touchscreen of the iPod touch, but it is indispensable when it comes to exercising. I can stick the iPod into the back pocket of my bike shirt and adjust the volume or fast forward as I'm riding by touching it through the fabric. Having a physical interface for the clickwheel allows you to operate it without looking as opposed to viewing the screen and sliding your finger in just the right spot.
3. A bit more rugged - I'm not afraid to lend my iPod to the kids, where I always hold my iPhone if we are watching a video together. After all, dropping the iPod makes it work if it gets sad.
4. FM transmitter - Currently there is no FM transmitter for the iPhone, which makes it useless for me in the car. I assume it is because of GSM noise interference (can't get these devices too close in the car lest I get buzzed right out of my seat). The iPod touch should not have this problem because it won't have the phone interference.
5. Battery life - If I used the iPhone as much as I use the iPod, I doubt the battery would last more than a day at a time, especially while traveling when it is critical. So far my battery lasts 2-3 days if I'm lucky. Having too many capabilities in one device does have its drawbacks. Of course the iPod touch used solely as an iPod (and now web browser over wi-fi) should be fine in this regard.

At this point, I have a clear separation of duties for my iPod and iPhone. The iPod has become strictly audio, as the photos on the tiny screen don't even compared to the iPhone. All my video podcasts reside on the iPhone, so I do use its iPod features, just not for audio. Of course I keep a small audio playlist for just for demos of the album art. I know that the people who have been drooling over the iPhone but did not get one because of cell phone contracts or sheer price, will be jumping all over the iPod touch because of the interface. It will definitely have a beautiful screen with better videos and photos than the classic, as well as wi-fi internet (which without Edge, it not quite the same). But they really ought to consider the clickwheel and storage size. Perhaps the iPod classic will only be for purists. It would be a shame to see the iPod classic sales cannibalized by the glitz of the iPod touch. Of course I say this only because I succumbed to the iPhone hype and have to suck up my $200 penalty fee for being an early adopter within the first 2 months. Ah well, tough to be so cool, right?

TT #16 - Things I've been meaning to blog about

Getting way behind on blogging, so here's a condensed 13-fer of interesting internet stories and links.

1. Top 278 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing A Word With "Pants" - This is one LOL list! Thanks to Mike for pointing the way.
   
2. Moral of the Story: Buy Some Coffee (or at Least a Scone) - This guy spent too much time mooching Wi-fi from a coffeeshop from his car and got hit with a $400 fine and 40 hours of community service. Yowser! I've been known to mooch Wi-fi and never thought twice of it. They provide it for FREE after all.
3. Study Finds Companies Firing Employees for Leaving Blog and Forum Comments - Umm, I assume they mean people that leave comments that implicate the company is some way, with trade secrets or bad PR. I'm hoping they don't mean employees leaving nice comments for other Thursday Thirteeners like I do. The IT police is pretty fierce in my company after all.
4. Man fired after employers track his movements on GPS phone - This guy probably had it coming to him anyway, but using the phone GPS to track his whereabouts without him knowing smacks of privacy invasion. Maybe I am super sensitive, working for the company that I do.
   
5. Support Breastfeeding Mothers - I was really disappointed that my company decided to block the Moms Rising site. Do they not believe in rights for moms? Anyway, please sign this petition to support the Breastfeeding Promotion Act, which is currently before Congress.
6. Global Rich List - This humbling quiz challenges your perception of personal wealth. I wanted to crack where the 99% point was and determined that anything over $46k puts you at the end of this scale.
7. Human-powered gym - I've always thought that it would be cool to power your home using an exercise bike. Double duty, exercise and green electricity.
8. Clean energy gets gnarly, dude - Forget solar and wind power, this technology harvests the energy in ocean waves (which is of course derived from solar and wind power).
9. How do Sani-Seats work? - I've only seen these at Chicago's O'Hare airport, and I love them! Fresh seat every time and a little less germ phobia.
   
10. Reported security breach at OC airport prompts search, delays - Coming back from California last November, I experienced a security breach at the John Wayne airport where the entire airport was evacuated including passengers on planes. After an hour, we were allowed back in and every passenger had to be rescreened. It was the longest line I have ever endured, miles and hours long.
11. Let's Say Thanks - Xerox and others sponsor this free service to send printed postcards of children's drawings to the troops.
12. Dyson Telescope Game - Adam and I have been hooked into this Klotski-like game.
    
13. My Fortune Cookie told me: A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune
    

Wordless Wednesday - Giraffes and Llamas

Grandma and Dova with a giraffe. 

Beautiful llama eyelashes. 

There's me reflected in his eye (detail of same shot)!