Thursday, February 04, 2010

My Sweet Prickly Fireball Dova, Age 6

Every year as Dova gets older, we think that she will be nicer and less difficult.  But as she turned six, she has simply been getting more intelligent and particular than ever.  Strong-willed is an understatement.

On one hand, she is extremely loving, sweet and affectionate with those closest to her.  But this doesn't extend much beyond her immediate family and a few select friends.  She showers Doug, Adam and me with kisses and wonderful hugs (as opposed to her squirmy brother) and loves snuggle with each of us.  But she is not always nice even with her grandmas.  I heard her call my mom an old lady once.  Unthinkable!  Where did she get the nerve to be so mean?

During our trip to Florida last year, Dova met a distant cousin who was about six months older.  This cousin was already in kindergarten and brought a bunch of toys to play with. She was extremely sweet and generous to do so.  But Dova quickly sized her up and determined that she was not as smart as her in terms of speech and the way she played.  She then proceeded to completely ignore her.  I was flaggergasted.  Dova made no attempt to play nice and was downright mean.  You know when people talk about mean girls?  OMG, I have one of them!  And she hadn't even turned five yet.

Since that incident, we've tried to encourage her to be more tolerant of other people.  To make more friends and better choices in friends (she seems to like troublemakers which may lead to a mean girl club).  And to be loving and nice to her grandmas, for Pete's sake!

During our first parent teacher conference, we were shocked to hear that Dova was a model student in both behavior and academics (OK, no surprise on the academics).  The teacher even used her behavior as a role model for other students.  A role mode?  Our little prickly angel?  Wow, she has her fooled.

On Martin Luther King day this year, Doug stayed home with the kids.  I called from work and asked if she did any reading.  Doug said no and he wasn't about to ask because she was being difficult.  I asked to put her on the phone.

"Dova, do you think you can get your Junie B. Jones book and..."


I pressed the phone tightly to my ear so my whole office wouldn't hear.  "Dova, you can't scream at me while I'm at work."


Everyone at work was looking at me.  Apparently her screams are that loud.  "Why you little..."  She brings out the Homer Simpson in us all the time. 

At home, she will stand and defy me over the simplest things like going to the bathroom before bed.  Or taking her pants off so I can patch them.  And I won't go into how piano practicing is going (one hour of screaming fit followed by five minutes of delight that she can actually do it).  Sometimes she yells and screams with such defiance that I look at her and wonder where this little fireball came from.  Doug and I are both stubborn, but I believe that we were still reasonable when we were young.  Is it just karmic balance for having the sweetest son?

Despite her behavior, we love her to death.  She is incredibly intelligent, wise beyond her years (and mine sometimes), genuinely sweet when she wants to be and cute beyond belief.  But her teenage years are not looking good.  She'll be the death of me yet.

Another perfect LOLcat from I can has cheezburger.


linda said...

When you were pregnant first time, you wanted to have a baby boy first and followed by a baby girl, because the big brother takes care the little girl. Indeed, your wish came true, what a lucky Mommy! Adam is constantly showing his loving care to Dova. I was impressed to know that he stretched his arm and cuddled Dova to let her leaned on his shoulder for a nice nap on the school bus. Dova is a gem. She is pampered by the whole family including the two grandmas. What a lucky girl! She will be a terrific girl soon if she could be tamed before she grow up to be a teenager.

Asianmommy said...

This mother-daughter relationship stuff is not the rainbows-and-unicorns kinda thing that I was imagining before I had my kids. Ha!

You are not alone. :)

Bird's Eye View Photography said...

Oh my second child is just like this! He is defiant and loveable at the same time. But between my two boys he is the trouble maker. I picked him up from school the other day and as I walked in the teachers said 'no, you cannot take him.' apparently they were just wishing they had a classroom full of kids like him... I was flabergasted.

Anonymous said...

My oldest is like this, and my youngest is like your son. Both girls. So go figure. I've given out trying to work it out.