Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Champion

I never thought that I would become so engrossed in my domesticity to blog about a toilet. But then again a product this impressive requires some sort of attention, right? Besides, how often do you buy a toilet? If you have a toilet that functions perfectly well, it seems like a frivolous expense. It all depends on you define "functions". Our old toilet was 30 years old, and had brown mineral deposits on the bottom that have made it completely uncleanable. It sort of flushes, where the water swirls and swirls around for a full minute and sometimes never actually gurgles down at the end. Once, we had the same piece of paper floating on the top for a whole week. And most of all, we have a son that expertly clogs it every couple weeks. Last year a friend mentioned that he got a new toilet which he loved. As soon as I heard the words "It doesn't clog", I was all ears. He has 5 kids so that is a great feat. Being a physicist, he went on to explain about the shape of the bowl and head pressure of the water when it flushed. It was a regular low flow American Standard toilet.

So after Doug cursed for the nth time about how Adam clogged the toilet, I went to Home Depot the next day to seek out this magical toilet. There were many American Standard toilets ranging from a $100 model, to this $200 Champion toilet. I didn't recall my friend mentioning that it was this special model, and wondered if I really needed to spend the big bucks. As I stood looking at the display explaining that it could flush 2 dozen golf balls in a single flush and the slogan "Throw away your plunger", the toilet representative approached me. He asked whether I had kids. Yes. He asked whether I had boys. Yes again. He perked up, "Well, you know when boys are 14 to 16, they really know how to plug up a toilet." I thought, my boy is 5, it gets worse? It could be that he has a special talent, he also plugs the little kiddie toilet at school all the time. Grandma was so impressed when he plugged up her toilet once. It could be that he eats absolutely no fruit. Anyway, I figured if I'm going to buy a new toilet, it better be a good one, so I took it. And don't forget the wax donut, he reminds me.

Here are the kids playing with new toilet while Doug wrestled the old one out. After it was in, we flushed it for the first time. Whoosh, it flushed in 2 seconds. That's it? How unimpressive, is that really going to flush 2 dozen golf balls? We had to wait a couple weeks for Adam to produce an elephant poop, and yes indeed, it flushed with no problem. I'm mostly impressed by the low flow, although all new toilets have that feature. I also love that it is finally clean and quite beautiful as well. Yes, I'm most impressed by this porcelain god.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a technology marvel....well, in so far as a commode ever can be I guess.

But being the inquiring mind that I am, I started to look on the net for the "secret sauce" of this flushing marvel machine.

While looking at all the posts of joy from excited owners, (and there many as excited as you) I also found a number of posts complaining about leaks and other issues.(noises?)

Yes, these seem to be slightly old posts, and several of them sort of indicate the possibility of a "silent recall" the problems described may be fully resolved and not present in your unit. are pointers to a few of the posts in case you see some issues popping up with your unit:

(This Terry Love website might be a toilet specialist.....I'm not sure why all these posts ended up on that site! (I had to fight the temptation to comment on the kind of job this Terry guy might have)

Actually....upon looking closer at Terry's site, I see that he has a review of your porceline marvel and he mentioned the old units having problems. (since fixed)

He does seem like the Toilet king....look at the review has has written on a whole slew of low-flow units:

Anyways....I'm not quite sure of the proper words to wish someone enjoyment with this sort of may you continue to enjoy your new throne.

Angela said...

OMG, I had no idea there would be so much forum activity on this toilet. I did verify that I have the new redesigned flush valve, and the first time the tank went on, it leaked, but Doug reseated it and it has been fine. No need to hire a plumber in this family! Yes the flush kerplunk is loud for about 1 sec, but actually in all it is quieter than the old one.

Anonymous said...

KOHLER is #1 in my book.

You think your crazy, do you believe I once RETURNED a used toilet to Home Depot :-) Beat that. Talk about Anal (no pun intended).